


what comes after is always worse

by cettevieestbien



Series: drabbles. [24]
Category: Agent Carter (TV), Captain America (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Interviews, M/M, Mixed Media, News Media, Post-World War II, Snippets, Telegrams, World War II
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-14
Updated: 2015-12-14
Packaged: 2018-05-06 14:12:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5420081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cettevieestbien/pseuds/cettevieestbien
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After, their missions continually failed.</p><p>After, she had to support their family.</p><p>After, she knew she had to move on.</p><p>After, he had to deal with the guilt.</p><p>After, he was left without two great men.</p><p>After, the world didn’t weep; the world celebrated.</p><p>After, they missed everything, and were left to pick up the pieces by themselves.</p>
            </blockquote>





	what comes after is always worse

**Author's Note:**

> The telegram is written the way it is because telegrams written around the time were done like that - I know bc I saw some sent to Harry S. Truman recently. All the dates are backwards, so it's actually September 8th, 1945 and January 10th, 1945.

After, their missions continually failed.

After, she had to support their family.

After, she knew she had to move on.

After, he had to deal with the guilt.

After, he was left without two great men.

After, the world didn’t weep; the world celebrated. 

After, they missed everything, and were left to pick up the pieces by themselves.

 

* * *

 

**Military Units and Leaders, and Their Relationships, by B. Gunn**

 

The Howling Commandos were one of the best spec-op teams to this day. Under the lead of Captain Rogers (or, as he is better known, Captain America), the Commandos lead a defence against Hitler’s science division, HYDRA, and Hitler’s Nazi’s, that has gone down in history as one of the most beneficial forces in the Second World War.

After the death of Sergeant James “Bucky” Barnes, Captain Rogers’ right-hand man and best friend, the team got much more reckless and daring. After the death of Captain Rogers, the remaining Howling Commandos were left to lead their own missions, and were quick to become one of the least favorite teams to work with. Later, they were put under new lead.

Under the command of Agent Peggy Carter, the Howling Commandos exhibited better technique and skills than without a leader at all.

None were killed during the war but their beloved Captain and Sergeant.

There has been much speculation about their decrease in productivity without Captain Rogers or Agent Carter leading the Commandos, as well as much introspection into the probable connection between the deaths and the failures afterward.

 

* * *

 

**Life After Your Soldier’s Death, by S. Lee**

 

Becca Barnes was the second of four, the child of a World War One vet and a woman who did odd jobs her entire life.

Before World War Two, her older brother, Bucky Barnes, was the person who held the household together, but after his death, she was left to care for her younger siblings and elderly parents by herself. In a time when women had just earned the vote, and when boys were dying left and right, it had to be a difficult period of time for her.

She wasn’t the only woman left in this awkward position - hung up by grief and a need to care for the family.

 

* * *

 

 **Q:** So, you are the legendary Peggy Carter? Was your legend always so… encompassing?

 **A:** Yes, I am, and [laughs] no, it was nothing like it is now.

 **Q:** I’ve heard that it was with the Howling Commandos. Is that true?

 **A:** Those boys acted like everything I ever did was the epitome of perfection and what they had to aspire to. Especially Steve [Rogers].

 **Q:** Speak of Captain Rogers, how have you handled your grief?

 **A:** I’ve tried to not push memories of him away. I want to remember him and not…. [sighs] It’s always hard around the anniversary, but I have friends who help me out, and during the year, it’s easier to deal with. Things that remind me of him aren’t bringing as much pain as they used to.

 

* * *

 

Name: Peggy Carter

Rank: Agent, Level 8

Location(s): London; European Theater; Brooklyn.

Affiliation(s): SSR; Erskine, Abraham; Stark, Howard; Phillips, Colonel; U.S. ARMY; MI6; Rogers, Steve; Howling Commandos; Martinelli, Angie; Griffith, The; Barnes, "Bucky".

Job(s): Agent of SSR, previously Agent of Allied Powers.

Relationship(s): past Rogers, Steve; possible Martinelli, Angie; possible Sousa, Daniel; friendship Stark, Howard; friendship Jarvis, Edwin.

Note(s): past relation to Rogers, Steve is a weak point. Bring up to cause emotional unrest. Also use against Stark, Howard. Very capable fighter, watch for flying objects. Make sure there is nothing she could use against you lying around. Similar fighting style to America, Captain.

 

* * *

 

**A Real Loss, by A. O. Thren**

 

Howard Stark was responsible for a lot of things that he later said he felt guilt over. You would think, his best project, Captain America, wouldn’t be one of those things.

He has been quoted saying, “I never got the chance to get to know him like I wanted to. And I’ve, so far, failed to bring Sergeant Barnes back home, whether that be in a body bag or on a gurney. [The Captain] died so young, and the scientists out there are more interested in his blood samples than him as a person.

“He was amazing. We’ve suffered a real loss, and I don’t know how else I can put that. He was good for no reason. He was made that way, and as for Sergeant Barnes, he was less… good, but I think that [Captain Rogers] balanced him out. It was a real loss.”

Howard Stark continued to speak highly of Captain America until his death in the 1990’s. Tony Stark, the heir of Stark Industries’ creator, has said, publicly, that his father was oddly guilty about the man. It makes us fans wonder.

What did they know of each other? How deep was their relationship? And was Howard Stark as bad as we all thought?

 

* * *

 

[REDACTED],

I had to sign the orders for MIA today, for both Barnes and Rogers. It’s getting to the point where Barnes will have to be declared KIA.

And the army is finding evidence of [REDACTED]. Those two boys are lucky that they’re not around to face the consequences of what the [REDACTED] could mean for their legacies. It’s a shame they were like that, that they were [REDACTED].

Agent Carter knew about it, I think. She kept it from everyone, though, so they must have roped her into their [REDACTED] and I hate to think what her involvement with [REDACTED] could do for her, as well.

 

[EDITED BY CARTER, PEGGY 8/10/1945]

 

* * *

 

TELEGRAM 10/1/1954

 

COLNL PHILLIPS IS NOT GRIVING. HE MOVD ON IMMEDTLY AND HAS CONTD TO WORK. WE ARE CONCERND HERE IN AUSTRIA. ASKNG FOR PYSCH EVAL.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           SGT MOORE

 

* * *

 

**V-E Day and The Grand Celebration, by C. Xavier**

 

I was young when it happened, though I remember very clearly, the world was cheering. Of course, the Axis powers weren’t, but the rest of us, we were very, very happy.

There wasn’t much dwelling on those we lost in the war, but that was because the evil men who had caused us all such loss had been defeated.

The Victory curls were beautiful and victory gardens were blooming beautifully, and little flags were waving, and everyone was so overjoyed to have their men back. When would we have time for grief in those weeks after the war was over?

Well, the war with Europe, that is. The Pacific Theater was still going strong at that time. It’s a shame what we had to do to win that part of the war.

  

* * *

 

 

 **Q:** What part of your time do you miss the most?

**A:** My friends.

**Q:** Surely, some of them are still alive, right?

**A:** Two are. One is dying of cancer, and the other is going through dementia, and forgets about me a lot.

**Q:** And they’re what you miss the most? Why?

**A:** The buildings, and things are, for the most part, replaceable. But friends…. They’re not. Sometimes, I look at Tony [Stark] and see Howard [Stark], but then he says something, and I know it’s Tony. I’ll go out to buy things, and I’ll think about what Bucky [Barnes] would have wanted. It’s…. I feel like they’re still alive, still with me, still the same age as they were seventy years ago, and then I realize, no, they’re dead, and I…. Next question, please.

 

**///~*~///**

 

 **I:** You’ve said, repeatedly, that you underwent mental torture and abuse, as well as physical torture and abuse. Can you detail what that means?

**B:** No.

**I:** No?

**B:** No. You wouldn’t ask any other POW about this, would you? Would you ask an old woman what happened to her when Mengele got her? Or ask an old man what Vietnam prisons were like? No, you wouldn’t, so don’t ask me, and don’t talk to me about it either. I’d rather lose my other arm.

**I:** [pauses] Do you miss your arm?

**B:** Of course I do. But this one isn’t so bad, I guess. I’ve had it so long, I’ve gotten used to not having lots of feeling on one side except  heaviness, you understand. It's kind of... I dunno, it's grown on me. Sometimes I hate it, but I can't take it off. It's connected to my spine, if I take it off, I'll die. [sighs] Next question, please.

 


End file.
